Seven Castles

Jokes of the Year

                                      

December 22, 2007

 

1. In a flourishing era, the tiger appears; the roar of the tiger will enhance the national reputation

On an autumn day in 2007, in Shaanxi Province, an old man took photographs of a tiger which miraculously carried a tree leaf on its head while keeping its eyes wide open. The roar of the tiger was heard inside and outside of China and the photographs were seen on both sides of the Pacific Ocean.

 

2. PetroChina and Sinopec applies for state subsidies

China Stock News reported on December 13 that PetroChina (which earned 81.8 billion yuan in the first six months) and Sinopec are applying for state subsidies to the amount of 5 to 10 billion yuan.

 

3. According to the normal analysis

On September 5, the Gulou District court announced the verdict in the case of Peng Yu: "According to Peng Yu, he was the first person to get off the bus. According to the normal analysis, it is more probable that he collided with the plaintiff. If the defendant is really a good Samaritan, he should have grabbed the person who collided with Mrs. Xu instead of only helping her to get up. If the defendant is really a good Samaritan, he would have followed social convention to tell the plaintiff's family about what happened and then leave himself. Instead, he went with them to the hospital. The defendant clearly acted not in accordance with the normal way."

 

3.7. 3377.

 

Once upon a time, there was a married couple. Later the man fell in love with another woman and the couple divorced amicably. The man (known as 77) married the new woman (known as 33).  But 33 was not happy with the division of property. She sent SMS to insult the ex-wife and used her blog to heap abuse at her. A friend of the ex-wife fought back in a public Internet battle.  Netizens invoked the "human flesh search engine" and exposed the real identities of 33 and 77.

 

4. The Ouyang crater

 

Chang'e went into space, then it disappeared and then it reappeared to transmit a photograph back.  Netizen LiuJun noted that the Chang'e photograph had an additional crater compared to the NASA photograph of the same area. Ouyang Ziyuan rebutted this point on the grounds that the NASA photograph was probably of lower resolution, or perhaps the moon was impacted by a meteor between 2005 and 2007. This is now known as the "Ouyang crater". 

 

5. "May 30 Tragedy" with the midnight rooster call

 

On May 23, the Shanghai Stock News interviewed the relevant department with respect to the rumor that the sales tax on stock trading was going to be raise and published: "Ministry of Finance State Tax Department: No news on raising sales tax soon". One week later, the Ministry of Finance announced that the sales tax would be raised up to 3%. The Shanghai Stock Exchange Index fell by a record 281 points, with more than 900 stocks falling and only 58 continuing to rise.  This was historically known as the "May 30 Tragedy". The news had been announced at 00:05 a.m. and therefore this is also known as the "midnight rooster call."

 

6. Since this has been determined to be a suicide, there is no need to hold an inquest to determine if this was a suicide or not.

 

On May 14, 2007, the second trial of the libel case of Gao Tianfu (the father of Gao Yingying) was held. His lawyer said that it is a mystery whether Gao Yingying committed suicide because the police's investigation was extremely sloppy and crude. He asked: "On the day after, the medical examiner had taken a sample from Gao's vagina. Why was there no testing of that sample?" The prosecutor replied: "Since this has been determined to be a suicide already, there is not need to hold an inquest to determine if this was a suicide or not."

 

7. Greening by paint job

 

On February 13, 2007, the media reported "Fumin County painted a barren hill with paint as a greening project." There was an abandoned stone quarry in Fumin County for which the locals have petitioned the relevant department to re-plant. The Forestry Department planted some pine trees but the results were undistinguished. In July 2006, a private entrepreneur in Fumin County filed a report with the Forestry Department and then painted the rocks in green.

 

8. "Public servant" Li Runshan

 

In late March 2006, Ruishan County People's Congress Legal and Labor Committee director Yang Qinyu, retired cadre Nan Huirong and Mechanical Agricultural Bureau chief Shi Zhijing filed an anonymous letter to the county government leaders to denounce Ruishan County party secretary Li Runshan. Ten days later, Yang Qinyu and Nan Huirong were criminally detained for suspected libel while Shi Zhijing fled before being arrested in Taiyuan. Secretary Li then held a "Ruishan County cadre warning/education meeting" and he also magnanimously suggested to the court to treat the three persons leniently (one year in prison, three years postponement). On April 25, 2007, the Ruishan County People’s Congress accorded Li Runshan the honor as a "public servant".

 

9. It is very wrong for everybody to want to buy a home.

 

On June 17, 2007, at the "Chinese dialogue" form in Nanjing, Long Yongtu talked about the real estate crisis in China: "The principal malaise is that the people have not changed their ideas.  Every one of them still wants to buy a home. This idea is very wrong. Most Chinese people should solve the renting problem first." Long used the Americans as an example: "30% of them buy homes while 60% rent homes. Not many Americans actually own homes." Therefore, he thinks that most Chinese people should aim to solve their rental problems because their ultimate goal is to "find a home to live in" as opposed to paying attention only to an expensive home to be owned.

 

10. "Do not wash that hand!"

 

"If you get the chance to shake the hand of the Central Government leader, please do not wash it.  When you get back and shake hands with the students, it would be as if they were shaking the hand of the Central Government leader." On October 17, 2007, while attending the 17th Party Congress, principal Huang said that such was the request from his students.

 

11. "If even I get arrested, then there are no uncorrupt officials left in China."

 

Phoenix TV reported Zheng Xiaoyu as saying that when he was arrested. Zheng had taken 6,490,000 yuan in bribes. The Supreme People's Court sentenced him to death on July 10, 2007.

 

12. "This is to rear human talents for the nation."

 

Teacher Xu took more than 900,000 yuan in graft while making equipment purchases for "Project 211" at the Experimental Center. During her trial, she explained that 300,000 yuan of that money was reserved to send her daughter to study overseas. "This is to rear human talents for the nation."

 

13. The families of those who died in the disaster are emotionally stable

 

Whenever a major disaster occurs, there are pronouncements such as "the lessons are profound," "the rescue effort was effective," and "the families of those who died are emotionally stable." At the Fengda Expressway bridge collapse, this went even further. On the afternoon of August 16, the father of victim Liu Laping presented a silk banner with the words "Public servants warmly providing service" to the Feunghuang County Personnel Office director Long Taoying; as of August 17, the families of the victims had presented a total of four silk banners to the county party secretary and the county mayor in appreciation of their work.

 

14. Did you suffer from hunger today?

 

On July 8, 2007, Beijing News reported that the newly appointed professor Li Zhaoxing told the students that when he debated human rights with foreigners, he questioned them as follows, "I have suffered from starvation before and so I know what human rights are. Have you ever suffered from starvation before?"

 

15. Did you drink water today?

 

On June 6, 2007, the Wuxi city mayor and party secretary held a meeting at the Lakeside Hotel to discuss the blue algae problem. They said, "Actually we have been drinking boiled lake water for the past several days." They then drank the water in front of the reporters. Meanwhile, another leader showed how to boil the water and he used a transparent glass to prove that the process was real. Afterwards, netizens found out that the hotel used a German SBOK water purification system for its water.

 

16. Snowflakes in August

 

In August, Beijing Youth Daily reported that it snowed in Beijing. The next day, Beijing Times dispelled the rumor by quoting the Beijing Weather Observatory that the weather conditions on that day were not suitable for snow and there was also no recording of snowfall. Meanwhile Beijing News reported that an advertising company had created artificial snow during the filming of a television commercial. But just when the Beijing snow in August was pronounced as false news, another snow event occurred in Beijing. This time, it went on for five minutes and was documented by photographs and video films. The Beijing Weather Observatory did not attempt to dispel the rumor this time.

 

17. The tea has an "infection"

 

A Hangzhou reporter used tea as his urine sample and asked 10 hospitals to analyze it. Six of the hospitals determined that he had an infection, and five of them prescribed medicine worth about 1,300 yuan in total. The Sanjia Hospital later determined that 90% of the tests on tea should be false positive and this supposedly showed that the problem was not with the hospitals. Ministry of Health spokesperson Mao Junan criticized the media for violating the professional code of conduct in journalism.

 

18: Guangzhou is endearingly "chaotic"

 

On July 14, 2007, Professor Ren said in a speech about "City Memories and City Identification": "The public security situation in Guangzhou is imperfect and that necessarily reflects urban development in Guangzhou. This happens to mirror the social dynamism of Guangzhou...the 'chaos' of Guangzhou shows just how lovely this city is."

【作者: zhangliping】【访问统计:】【2007年12月22日 星期六 07:13】【注册】【打印】