Seven Castles

A Good Listener

                                      

November 19, 2007

 

For the most part, people prefer to be heard rather than listen.

 

Many people believe that women are better listeners because they are more patient and emotional. When you feel sad, women/girls (or guys that have a feminine side) are easy to talk with. They listen to your problems and give you support. They can always relate the topic to themselves or the people they know so they are more thoughtful in giving advice. Most men are impatient and have a lot of distractions so they jump to conclusion quickly; therefore, their advice is not as personal. They are not very good listeners unless it is sex or something they really like other than that they rather not listen.

 

John Gray explained why woman are such great listeners and men just care about themselves in his bestseller "Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus" (published in May 1992), a practical guide for improving communication and getting what you want in your relationships. He said: "When a man talks too much...do as the Martians do and just interrupt! While this may seem rude on Venus, it is quite natural on Mars."

 

But some other people say that men are better listeners, because women tend only to talk about their problems and listening to other ones' problems seem to be very difficult for them. Men pretend to not listen, but in fact they do. They are cool headed in the thinking process. They prefer to avoid the small stuff that will not make sense to fuss about and to contain the big ones, as they do not want to make it worst.

 

I would say that both men and women are good and bad listeners, depending on their personality and the subject of discussion. Everyone has the potential to be a good listener but it is just whether he or she can put the time into doing it and put down everything at hand to help deal with it. I have female friends that just talk and talk about themselves and insist you agree with them. They never listen - it seems like they do not even care if you have something to tell them. Some men I know will hear...but they turn off their ears as if they would not listen There is no point to listen because they cannot disagree/give out true opinions.  

【作者: zhangliping】【访问统计:】【2007年11月19日 星期一 05:16】【注册】【打印】